Girlz Voices

Red hearts, chocolate candy, beautiful roses, and some stressed out sistas. It’s got to be Valentine season! Ladies, we love romance. We’re emotional beings. That’s how we’re wired. So of course Valentines Day is right up our alley. For many of us, this is one of our favorite holidays. Well what’s the deal? What’s with the stressed out sistas?
Well at some point or another we all felt it:
• What do I give my boyfriend for Valentines Day? Should I even give him anything?
• Why did we have to break up 2 weeks before Valentines Day?
• I didn’t have a “valentine” last year and won’t have one this year. Honestly, I can’t even remember when the last time I did have one. Is there something wrong with me?
• I’m in school. I don’t have a job. Where am I suppose to get money to get a gift?
• What if I get him something and he doesn’t get me anything?
• This is a special day. Should we have sex? What if he is expecting it?

We’ve all asked ourselves at least one of these questions in some form or another. So what’s the answer? Well here are a few thoughts to ponder:
1. If you are going to give a gift, give one from the heart. You don’t have to spend a lot of money. Don’t break the bank. And if you’re strapped for cash, be creative. Think of something free you can do or give to him. And if you don’t get a gift in return, he may have a good reason. If so, cut him some slack. But if he doesn’t give you a gift because he doesn’t view the relationship the same way you do, maybe it’s time for some relationship evaluation.

2. If you don’t have a boyfriend and haven’t had one in a while, there’s nothing wrong with you. You are beautiful inside and out. God just might be saving you from a bunch of rift-rafts, heartache and who knows what else. So if you don’t have a guy to give something to, give something to your parents, or your favorite aunt or uncle, or buy a little something for yourself. And if you have other friends who are single, get together with them and have a girls night.

3. If you and your boo just broke up, I’m going to be honest with you. This holiday may be a little tough. But it’ll get better. The day after Valentines will come. And look on the bright side,. you saved yourself a few bucks. Because if you didn’t break up before Valentines Day, you were probably going to break up not too long after Valentines Day.

4. Unless you’re married, keep your clothes on and your legs shut. Valentines Day comes and goes every year. But when you give yourself to someone you’re not married to, you can’t get back what you’ve given. Sex is not going to keep him. Your Valentines Day can be just as special, actually even more special, without it. So make your mind up ahead of time where you stand on this so you don’t get caught all up in the emotions and in the flowers and candy and do something you are sure to regret. In the Bible, there are several places in the Song of Solomon that says, “Oh let me warn you sisters, don’t excite love, don’t stir it up until the time is ripe and you are ready.” When is the time ripe? When are you ready? On your wedding night. So don’t go and stir up love, ie. doing stuff to get you and your man hot and bothered…like buying him underwear. That’s right, move right on pass those black boxers with the little hearts. You won’t see him in them anyway and you don’t want to give him any idea that you will. So keep it moving! That’s the word. So go ahead. Take a minute. And let that simmer.

Everyone has different opinions and views about what music is ok and what music is not ok to listen to. Some view it as a biblical law not to listen to anything that is not Gospel or Christian. While others hold the view that it really doesn’t matter what they listen to, because it’s not going to send them to heaven or hell one way or the other. In 1 Corinthians 6:12, Paul says “Just because something is technical legal doesn’t make it appropriate or good for me. If I just went around doing whatever I thought I could get away with, I would be a slave to my whims.” Alright then, so with that being said, as it relates to music, how can we know what really is ok, or what is acceptable? Well here are a few guidelines and questions to ask yourself:

1. What are the words really saying? If you take out the music, strip the beats and are just left with the words, do they reflect what’s good? Do the words conflict with what you know to be right? Do they go against the Bible and against what God wants for your life? Do they go against what you want for your life?

2. If you were driving in your car and God was sitting on the passenger side, or if you were chilling at your house and God was in your den, would you feel comfortable singing or listening to the song? Would you ask him to help you with the words because you forgot them?

3. Does the music influence you or motivate you to do something you know is not right and you ain’t got no business doing? Like stopping by Jo-Jo’s house at night so ya’ll can hook up…. and you know I ain’t talking about studying for an exam.

4. Ask God to help you know what YOU should or shouldn’t listen to. And when He does tell you, accept it. Don’t let people make you feel condemned or guilty, crazy, stupid or abnormal for whatever He says you can or can’t listen to.

Finally, while there is obviously some music that no one should listen to (and shouldn’t have been made in the first place), that’s not the case with all music. And just like God will help you know what is ok for you, He’ll do the same for others. So don’t try to go out and be Jesus Jr., telling people what’s ok and not ok for them. Don’t make a rule out of what God told you and try to apply that to everyone. And whatever you do, please do not look down on anyone because of what they do or do not listen to. That’s not cool. That’s not love. That’s not God. Go ahead. Take a minute. And let that simmer.