Girlz Voices

Everyday we make decisions. Some we make without even thinking about it. Many we make before we even leave the house. What soap to use. How to style our hair. What to have for breakfast. Whether to brush our teeth (hopefully we all decide to do this). But there is one decision that many of us girls make everyday that we put a lot of thought into and that is, what to wear. What we are going to do that day, who is going to see us, when was the last time we had the outfit on and how we look in it, all factors in to what we decide to wear. But here’s a thought. Do we ever consider how what we decide to wear will make us look? No, I’m no talking about if an outfit makes us look fat or shapeless. I’m talking about what impression do our clothes give to others about ourselves. If you saw a lady in dress pants, a blouse, and a lab coat, you may think she is a doctor or scientist. If you saw a guy dressed to the nines in an Armani suit carrying a briefcase, you’ll probably think he’s some type of business man. And if you saw a guy in white cargo pants and a shirt with painted all over it, you’d think he is a painter. The truth is, we often make judgment calls on people based solely on what we see.

Bear with me for a minute as we take a trip down Biblical Lane to Genesis 38. There’s a story about a guy named Judah. Judah had 3 sons. The oldest son Er was married to a woman named Tamar. Now Er was an evil dude so God killed him. Now in those days, when a married man dies before having kids, his brother was suppose to marry his wife. They did that so that the first son that the brother and the wife had together could carry on the wife’s dead husband name and he’d have an heir. (I know, that’s a little strange in our culture, but that’s how it was back then.) In this story, Judah’s second son married Tamar but didn’t want to have a child by her and actually died before he did. Now that left Judah with one son, Shelah, who was his youngest. He wasn’t old enough to marry Tamar at the time. So Judah told Tamar to go back to her parent’s house and live with them and when Shelah grew up, she could marry him. So she did. She went back to her hometown and lived with her parents. Well, Shelah grew up, but Judah didn’t send for Tamar so she could marry him. And Tamar got upset. Why? Because in those times, widowed women without children did not have a bright future since they didn’t have any support or anyone to provide for them, especially when they got old. They were the poorest of the poor. Well when Tamar heard that Judah was coming to her hometown she decided to trick him. She changed out of the clothes she normally wore, put on some other clothes and covered herself in a veil. Basically, she put on prostitute clothes. Then she went and sat out in a place where she knew Judah would see her. And when he did see her, he thought she was a prostitute….because of how she looked. He didn’t know who she really was. To make a long story short, he asked to hook up with her and she did. She got pregnant and had twins. When Judah found out about Tamar he got mad, until he found out he was the father. He realized that although she sinned in how she tricked him, he sinned also in not giving her Shelah to marry like he was supposed to. The point is, Tamar dressed the part. She dressed to look like someone she wasn’t and she slept with a man who didn’t know who she was and what she was all about. Ok, so what’s the moral of the story? There a several that can come out of this, but the one for today is this, Tamar was a woman who went through a lot. She suffered the lost of two husbands. One was evil so I doubt that was a happy marriage and the other didn’t even want to have kids by her. She was rejected by her father-in-law, she battled with infertility, she was ridiculed by her community because she didn’t have kids (women without kids were looked down on) and she faced more of the same, topped off by poverty. She probably felt unloved, hated, despised, disappointed, unworthy, and like a curse. So she wrapped up her pain and wrapped up her hurt. She covered up her shame, her anger, her disappointment, insecurity, fear and need for love and security and hid them in prostitute clothes. And she, like some of you, went about getting what she wanted and what she needed the way she knew how, by dressing and appearing to be someone she really wasn’t.

I am convinced that how we dress has more to do with what we think about ourselves and how we see ourselves, than who we really are. Ladies, you are beautiful! Your value is far greater than diamonds. Your worth is immeasurable. You are worth more than the disrespectful attention and illicit intentions of any guy. So let how you dress and what you wear be a reflection of your true self. And know this, God knows you, the real you, the true you. The Bible says that we as people look on the outward appearance, but God knows the heart. And, He really, really loves you. That’s the word. So go ahead. Take a minute. And let that simmer.